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It Just Figures

No matter how much I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, men will screw you and hurt you and leave you raw and bleeding as they step over you. Husbands & sons.

I should have known better, honestly. I am old enough to have been here before, and done this before and I should have known the results as the words left my son's mouth. He called me up to tell me he wanted to spend his 25th birthday with me. He missed me, hasn't seen me in almost 2 years, and was taking time off so he could come up and just spend some quality Mother/Son time.

I should have listened to my cynical heart, and said, 'yeah, right... like that's ever gonna happen.' Instead, I listened with my mother's heart and had a moment of hope. I will never, never, never, ever learn, will I?

The bastard child called me up and said he can't come... he had to replace his computer and it was a necessary expense, so now he doesn't have the money to come up to see me. And he's sorry.

I'll say he's sorry - he and his brother are sorry excuses for sons, and I can't handle this anymore. I wish I didn't love them. I wish I didn't miss them. I wish just once someone would keep their word to me.

I wish!

/hysterical rant against the male of the species for the moment. Sure to have a followup.

Quick back - shithead now owes me $7,000 that I will more than likely never, ever see a cent of.

/rant again

**leaves now to find medication**


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 9th, 2004 12:30 pm (UTC)
*has tantrum, throws furniture around and slaps all men in the world for you*

I'm in a shitty bad place too...

Tried ranting on the journal earlier but couldn't even find the words for that. So I'm just kinda sitting here staring, waiting for something good to happen....

Mar. 9th, 2004 12:36 pm (UTC)
::pets you:: Now would be the time when I used my vast [read: minimal] experience. Boys are dumb. ::pets you again::
Mar. 9th, 2004 01:26 pm (UTC)
So glad my son is still young. I'm sure I have that to look forward to when he's older.

Mar. 9th, 2004 02:14 pm (UTC)
I was a selfish shit when I was 25. There was a spell of two years when I didn't talk to my Dad, and cursed my Mom pretty regularly. But then I got over being an angst-driven "it's all about me" woman of 25, 26, 27 and so on, and today, I'm only somewhat of a shit. But it took me becoming a parent to learn something pretty important. Parents are people. They deserve common courtesy and respect (trite but true). It's just hard to remember that when you are 25, and life feels like it will last forever or will end in the next second (it's all about extremes). I have no clue if my comments will provide any comfort, but I just feel your pain and wanted to share. I spent this past weekend with my 21 year old son who pissed me off when he decided to leave me and hang out with a bunch of friends he sees every damn day on campus, but Mom time he takes for granted. But you know, that's because he's 20 something, and it's all about him. I love my shit head nonetheless and we all do.
Mar. 9th, 2004 02:18 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry. I think about this sometimes -- my kids are still young, but I can see their total lack of understanding about me. They are completely self-centered. I find myself wondering what will happen when they get older -- will they go "ugh" when they see an e-mail from me, and find excuses not to visit? I made the mistake of moving away from my parents (good reasons I now regret) and I try to remind my kids how it has been a mistake, but I know they will likely do the same some day. When I feel that mother's guilt for working, or going out with girlfriends, I try to remember that some day they won't be the center of my world, or I theirs. It doesn't help, much, and I'm sure it won't help when they get older either.

Anyway, many hugs in your direction. Hope your day looks up.
Mar. 9th, 2004 08:04 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you've had a bad day *hugs and pets you* Your sons don't deserve you if they treat you like that.

I'm on AIM if you want to talk

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )