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How I See Them

Going through my bunny warren, I found a small piece I'd written describing the Buffy in my head almost ten years ago. I wrote a companion piece today describing Spike, and decided to share them both with you.

My Buffy

Was as shallow as season one Cordelia, before her calling.

Cares too much about the opinion of her friends, to her own detriment.

Suffers from abandonment issues.

No longer needs her Daddy.

Placed far too much stock in her first love.

Misses her Mommy.

Developed an eating disorder.

Alternately resents and relishes her role as Dawn’s guardian.

Loves her family and will protect them against all odds, to the detriment of her friends or the rest of the world.

Has “bleedin’ tragic taste in men.”

Finally learned there were shades of gray in life and Slaying modes.

Despaired of ever having the elusive ‘normal’ life.

Learned she really didn’t want one.

Sometimes wishes she did.

Loves leather.

Treated Spike like absolute crap, first ignoring him, then using and finally abusing him.

Realized there was value in the monster.

Learned there was weakness in the man.

Relied on the amalgam.

Has balls of steel and a heart made of spun glass.

My Spike

Started out life as an overly sensitive soul with Mommy issues.

Probably Daddy issues, as well.

Could see the beauty in the world around him.

Lacked the ability to fully put it into words.

Was teased and bullied from a very early age.

Was looked down upon by everyone except his mother.

Literally died from a broken heart.

Took to unlife with a vengeance.

Found a pecking order there, too.

Forged a persona to protect himself from his new family.

Retained more of William’s heart (foibles) than he cared to.

Loved Drusilla with all that he was for over a hundred years.

Loved Dawn as a younger sister.

Fell in love with Buffy against his will.

Broke himself over and over against the wall of her rejection.

Made his way into her pants, and eventually into her heart.

Hurt her as a man, not a monster.

Fought for his soul to protect her.

Became a pawn of the First.

Regained Buffy’s trust despite her friends’ objections.

Became her Champion; saved the world.

Reunited with Buffy after becoming corporeal.

Loved, fought, bickered, made-up for the rest of their lives together.

If anyone would like to add their thoughts to these scribblings, I'd love to hear from you.

cross-posted to spuffy_haven



( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 24th, 2013 04:24 am (UTC)

The Spike in my head has so *very* little to do with canon! Canon infuriated me sometimes, particularly concerning Spike.

'My' Spike is a lover, a romantic, a tender and tragic man who can rip your spine out through your belly and lick his fingers clean. My Spike loves the Ramones, Alice Cooper, and Arron Copeland. My Spike revels in the luxuries that money can buy - plush bed, heated floors, leather-bound books...even living in a crypt and a cave, he hung his bed with netting and found decorative iron to enliven a tomb.

But he can just as easily live rough, on a motor bike, in the deserts of Africa. My Spike writes poetry and burns it so no one can find it, and my Spike would rather die than back down, but he's a pragmatist at heart, and always lives to fight another day.

And my Spike loves a good tussle. :)
Jul. 24th, 2013 04:26 am (UTC)
I knew I wasn't happy with my Spike... there really is so much more to him, but I can rewrite is when I'm feeling better. I love your Spike.
Jul. 24th, 2013 04:40 am (UTC)
He's been in my head for so many years.... Even though my days of writing Buffy fic are getting very thin on the ground, he's still there.

Jul. 24th, 2013 01:49 pm (UTC)
Man, I remember when everyone was doing these! I think I still have my version languishing on a hard drive somewhere...
Jul. 24th, 2013 04:36 pm (UTC)
Like I said... My Buffy was nearly ten years ago. it definitely was the thing to do amongst us all. I'm just a leetle bit behind the times. *grins*
Jul. 24th, 2013 04:41 pm (UTC)
I think I once did a My Spike. Never done a My Buffy, though.

It's always interesting to read other people's thoughts on the pair. Have to admit, mine are still subject to change.
Jul. 24th, 2013 09:31 pm (UTC)
Wow, I love this!

"Has balls of steel and a heart made of spun glass."

Yes, she does. She so does. Buffy's heart is so big, and her capacity to love is endless.

"Literally died from a broken heart."

Yes, he did...didn't he?
Jul. 29th, 2013 12:10 pm (UTC)
I'm really interested in the "eating disorder" bit because I think it would fit but it's never addressed in the show (Basically it's SMG who gets too thin season after season, Buffy doesn't/shouldn't have this problem)
Jul. 30th, 2013 11:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, I know Sarah lost way too much weight... but... in my head, Buffy lost interest in eating after a bit, then when she was responsible for her sister, Dawn's eating was more important than hers, and then the potentials had to come first... to the point where she really couldn't eat more than a bit of yogurt and other light things. Just my extrapolations - your mileage might vary.
Jul. 31st, 2013 10:15 am (UTC)
But it's an interesting extrapolation that fits with SMG's physique in the latest season. It's just that Buffy never addresses the "eating question" and generally she says that she enjoys food. There was also a Tumblr about this aspect: What Buffy eats. And I think it's interesting how Buffy's relation with food is perceived by the audience. In this Tumblr there was the constant insinuation that Buffy was anorexic because SMG didn't eat very much in the scenes (But I think it's understandable. I also wouldn't eat so much while I'm working)
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )