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The State of Moi - Now With Actual Words!

Hey, you guys. Finally getting around to letting you know what's been going on with my life, if you care to read.

I, for one, will be glad to see the ass end of 2012 as it skitters out the door because:

This has been the year of the suck for me. If you remember, I had hernia surgery some three years ago. For whatever reason, the incision never really closed all the way. On the right side, there was a little weepy spot that could be covered by a Curad bandaid. No biggie, right? However one day I felt a sharp pain in the left-hand side of the incision, like something was poking me from the inside. That led to another little spot and another Curad bandaid. Again, no big deal, and I didn't bother with the doctor. However, one day it started leaking some weird-ass fluorescent green stuff - the color of which should never be associated with the living human body. About a week or so later the drainage became more copious, and I thought of calling the surgeon to have a peek. Unfortunately, my body had a mind of it's own. After going shopping one Friday in March, I went to the bathroom at home, and started leaking some kind of rust-colored drainage.

Even I, for all my denial, knew I had to be seen, and my son and I went to the hospital emergency room. Long story a little shorter, it turns out the mesh they implanted with the first surgery had infiltrated the small intestine (hence the fluorescence). I ended up being admitted for a bowel resection to remove the damaged area and the rest of the mesh, and a second hernia surgery. The doctor was thrilled - said everything went picture perfect - then my body said 'fuck that' and crashed. My kidneys began to fail and my pressure dropped to like 40/something equally as low. When I awoke, I found I had been intubated and had been in intensive care for over a week. My kids thought they were gonna lose me.

No such luck, however. I pulled through, and after some three weeks in the hospital, came home. Without an appetite. That's right, folks - I didn't want to eat a bloody thing. For a couple of weeks I existed on nothing but Ensure. I was sleepy all the time, the incision was draining like a river, but I was home, so I was happy. One night, my elder son went out and I was standing by my bed. Next moment I was down on the floor. I sat on my own ankle. The crack could be heard around the world, it was so loud. I managed to drag my phone off a table and called 911, because there was no way I could get off the floor. The paramedics agreed; I had broken my ankle very badly.

Back to the freakin' hospital, where I stayed, bedbound, for awhile, before being sent to a nursing home, to be surrounded by the elderly. Promise me that one of you will shoot me dead before I ever have to go to another place like that. I'm begging you. I was there for about three of the most hellish months of my existence before coming back home. with a wheelchair.

Oh, did I mention that I lost about 80 pounds during this whole ordeal? Not a way I'd recommend losing weight, by the way.

Round after round of surgeon and orthopedist visits and we come to now. I use a walker to get around, my ankle will never feel 'right' again, and the surgical wound is almost finally healed. There were many times I wanted to give up, but I couldn't let it get the better of me. I'm a stubborn old cuss, and I don't want to leave unless it's under my terms.

Well, that's my tale of woe. It's depressing to recount it all, but I wanted to let you all know I'm still here, even though I've been silent. I came home at the end of July, and it's taken me this long to actually get the words out of my brain and onto the page. I love you all, and have been following LJ, even though I've been silent for the most part.

I'm even trying to get back into fic-writing, having posted the latest chapter of Beloved. Stop by, please, and say hello. I promise to read everything, and hopefully reply.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, and hope your Hanukkah and Solstice were enjoyable. Hugs and smooches,



( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
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Dec. 22nd, 2012 04:43 am (UTC)
Oh Dear I am so sorry that you have had such a terrible time, and wish you all the best in your further recovery. Off to read the Beloved chapter yay!
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:10 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts, hon.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 05:36 am (UTC)
Wow! You mentioned your hernia surgery when I talked to you on your birthday but damn woman! I think you left a little bit out! Sorry it's been such a crap year. 2013 will be so much better! Glad to hear you're on the mend.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:11 am (UTC)
It's been hard to reconcile all that crapola, and to think I left out a couple of infections and other things, too. I just needed to get it all out once and for all, and I thought before the bloody year was over would be a good time to do it. **hugs you**
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:00 am (UTC)
OMG, I'm so, so sorry to hear of the awful things you've been going through. It sounds horrendous. :(

I hope that from now on in things start getting better for you. *hugs*
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:13 am (UTC)
Thanks for your kindness, love. 2013 has got to be a better year.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:13 am (UTC)
Oh god, how horrible. I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that! Hopefully you've used up your quota of bad luck for the next century or so
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:15 am (UTC)
From your mouth to the PTB's ears. Happy thoughts only for 2013, right? Healthier, anyway. Thanks so much, sweetie.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 10:12 am (UTC)
|What a year - I pray that you have "used up" all the bad vibes now ... and that 2013 will be great


Happy Christmas
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:32 pm (UTC)
I feel like I've had enough bad luck for a lifetime. Looking forward to the new year. *hugs you hard*
Dec. 22nd, 2012 12:08 pm (UTC)
You have been through the wringer. It all sounds absolutely bloody awful. Kudos to you for finally coming out the other side.

:Big hugs: to you, and I will get to the new chapter of Beloved some time over the holiday. I hope you have a good one.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:34 pm (UTC)
*sniffs* Was awful, indeed. Merry Christmas, love. Hope you like the latest chapter. *kisses*
Dec. 22nd, 2012 12:16 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, honey, what a truly horrible time you've had. *hugs you*

I really hope things start looking up and that the new year will be kind and healing to you.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Felis. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 01:25 pm (UTC)
You didn't even tell me all that when we Skyped. Gah - I knew about the IC bit because I FB-talked to one of your boys when you were just home, but the rest? Ugh.

I've missed you being around on LJ. It was wonderful to talk to you in person last week - we must do it again. And we are going to wrestle Beloved to a proper conclusion if it kills us both.

Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC)
As you can tell, it was hard to even write, much less talk about face to face. Would you believe there's still more to tell, but I figured I'd done enough whinging.

As for Beloved, can we only work at it until we become cranky? No more talk of death, please. *grins*
Dec. 22nd, 2012 03:19 pm (UTC)
*big hugs* "Suck" doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm glad you're home, and that you pulled through. I hope next year is so amazing, it makes up for 2012.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:45 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your sweet words, hon. I'll even settle for 2013 being boring. There is something to be said for boring as opposed to hectic and hellish. *grins*
Dec. 22nd, 2012 03:39 pm (UTC)
Good heavens, bb!!
*hugs you carefully*

That is a mess and a half, huh? So glad you're on the road to being healed and oh, i hear you on the nursing home thing. Yuck.

They show a lot of late-night ads on the tv here for people who had one of those meshes and how to sue, as apparently...they suck.
*pet pet pet pet*

LJ is sadly a little more quiet, but still going - beware of new, small, hinky things that will annoy and baffle.

Otherwise - yay, glad you're back!
:) Hope to see you around from time to time.
Be well!
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:46 pm (UTC)
Don't think I didn't ask my surgeon about the mesh thingie, and he said it wasn't the kind they're suing over. Was bad enough, either way.

Missed you, love. I'm here, and stubborn enough not to be going anywhere, for sure. Merry Christmas!! *smooches*
(no subject) - tabaqui - Dec. 22nd, 2012 10:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:49 pm (UTC)
Don't trivialize your issues on my account, hon. After all, there are things like Frankenstorm Sandy and Newtown that make my year look like a bed of roses.

Thanks for your kind words, and have a Merry Christmas. *hugs*
Dec. 22nd, 2012 08:41 pm (UTC)
Holy cats, honey! Your luck has to turn around. Thank GOD for your kids.

Sending you all the get-well-soon mojo I can spare.
Dec. 22nd, 2012 08:57 pm (UTC)
I agree with you. Good luck in all forms is welcomed for the upcoming year and beyond. *hugs you hard*
Dec. 22nd, 2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
Yikes! Glad you're finally on the mend. Here's to a healthy 2013! *hugs*
Dec. 23rd, 2012 04:15 am (UTC)
Thanks, sweetie - and a very happy and healthy new year to you and yours, as well.
Dec. 23rd, 2012 01:21 am (UTC)
Oh my dear, I am *so* sorry to hear this. I'm glad that you are on the mend. Sending many ::gentle hugs:: and hoping you keep on recovering :)
Dec. 23rd, 2012 02:59 am (UTC)
*revels in hugs* Thanks for your kind words, love. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Dec. 23rd, 2012 04:14 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear of your complications. Dare I say things can only get better from here? Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a much better New Year.
Dec. 23rd, 2012 04:17 am (UTC)
The same to you and yours, my dear. (Pssst! Chapter 37 of Beloved posted here at my LJ - will eventually get around to updating simply_beloved).
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( 34 comments — Leave a comment )