Spike's Heart (spikes_heart) wrote,
Spike's Heart

The State of Moi - Now With Actual Words!

Hey, you guys. Finally getting around to letting you know what's been going on with my life, if you care to read.

I, for one, will be glad to see the ass end of 2012 as it skitters out the door because:

This has been the year of the suck for me. If you remember, I had hernia surgery some three years ago. For whatever reason, the incision never really closed all the way. On the right side, there was a little weepy spot that could be covered by a Curad bandaid. No biggie, right? However one day I felt a sharp pain in the left-hand side of the incision, like something was poking me from the inside. That led to another little spot and another Curad bandaid. Again, no big deal, and I didn't bother with the doctor. However, one day it started leaking some weird-ass fluorescent green stuff - the color of which should never be associated with the living human body. About a week or so later the drainage became more copious, and I thought of calling the surgeon to have a peek. Unfortunately, my body had a mind of it's own. After going shopping one Friday in March, I went to the bathroom at home, and started leaking some kind of rust-colored drainage.

Even I, for all my denial, knew I had to be seen, and my son and I went to the hospital emergency room. Long story a little shorter, it turns out the mesh they implanted with the first surgery had infiltrated the small intestine (hence the fluorescence). I ended up being admitted for a bowel resection to remove the damaged area and the rest of the mesh, and a second hernia surgery. The doctor was thrilled - said everything went picture perfect - then my body said 'fuck that' and crashed. My kidneys began to fail and my pressure dropped to like 40/something equally as low. When I awoke, I found I had been intubated and had been in intensive care for over a week. My kids thought they were gonna lose me.

No such luck, however. I pulled through, and after some three weeks in the hospital, came home. Without an appetite. That's right, folks - I didn't want to eat a bloody thing. For a couple of weeks I existed on nothing but Ensure. I was sleepy all the time, the incision was draining like a river, but I was home, so I was happy. One night, my elder son went out and I was standing by my bed. Next moment I was down on the floor. I sat on my own ankle. The crack could be heard around the world, it was so loud. I managed to drag my phone off a table and called 911, because there was no way I could get off the floor. The paramedics agreed; I had broken my ankle very badly.

Back to the freakin' hospital, where I stayed, bedbound, for awhile, before being sent to a nursing home, to be surrounded by the elderly. Promise me that one of you will shoot me dead before I ever have to go to another place like that. I'm begging you. I was there for about three of the most hellish months of my existence before coming back home. with a wheelchair.

Oh, did I mention that I lost about 80 pounds during this whole ordeal? Not a way I'd recommend losing weight, by the way.

Round after round of surgeon and orthopedist visits and we come to now. I use a walker to get around, my ankle will never feel 'right' again, and the surgical wound is almost finally healed. There were many times I wanted to give up, but I couldn't let it get the better of me. I'm a stubborn old cuss, and I don't want to leave unless it's under my terms.

Well, that's my tale of woe. It's depressing to recount it all, but I wanted to let you all know I'm still here, even though I've been silent. I came home at the end of July, and it's taken me this long to actually get the words out of my brain and onto the page. I love you all, and have been following LJ, even though I've been silent for the most part.

I'm even trying to get back into fic-writing, having posted the latest chapter of Beloved. Stop by, please, and say hello. I promise to read everything, and hopefully reply.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, and hope your Hanukkah and Solstice were enjoyable. Hugs and smooches,

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