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I must be the most naive forty nine year old in the world. I have never been involved with a fandom kerfluffle in my life. The whole reason I was attracted to fandoms was the decency of its members. It was family. To me. And so much nicer than my real life that I just jumped in here and stayed.

I've never said an unkind word to anyone... not intentionally. And certainly not in public and never anonymously. Does that make me a weenie? No, just a person trying to be friendly. Have I ever disagreed with anyone? You betcha, but I was never mean spirited about it.

This is the second time in the past few days that one of my friends has been treated like crap. Words hurt people! They wound and destroy as surely as any weapon known to man. My friends put their time and effort and heart and soul into the fic they write, and deign to share with us out of the kindness of their hearts.

If you don't like it, don't read it. Don't rec it to anyone else. Have something critical to say? Well, you're entitled, but there are ways, and there are forums. To wound a person's soul and pride is unforgivable.

Yes, there is such a thing as free speech, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but to wound another's heart intentionally is unforgivable.

All opinions are heartily owned by me, Andrea, otherwise known as spikes_heart who just couldn't keep it inside any longer.

I love my friends, respect people with different opinions, likes, and tastes than my own, and wouldn't publically vilify anyone.

**sobs**

Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
hils
Sep. 4th, 2004 09:17 am (UTC)
I totally agree! I've never been involved in a kerfuffle either and whilst I have been known to disagree with people in the past I've never been unkind about it.

Rude people make me angry!
spikes_heart
Sep. 6th, 2004 09:49 am (UTC)
Things are calm now, but the damage has been done. I hope it's all over 'cause I don't want to go there ever again. Thank you for caring and sharing.
kitty_poker1
Sep. 4th, 2004 09:19 am (UTC)
I couldn't agree with you more, Andrea. There is absolutely no reason for cruelty or vilification and it hurts the people against whom it's directed, their friends and, indeed, the whole fandom.

I think it's important to remember that these bastards are a tiny, tiny minority of people and they are 'fans' in the same way that football hooligans are lovers of soccer.

Constructive criticism, when asked for, is one thing, but flaming or personal attacks are completely unacceptable.
spikes_heart
Sep. 6th, 2004 09:51 am (UTC)
I tell you, there is a reason it took so long for me to decide to write and share - fear of exactly what happened, and it wasn't even aimed at me.

Thank you for taking the time to comment, and it's nice to know there are more friends out there than rude people. Even when we don't all read and write the same pairings. Especially when we don't.

Love you, gal! **hugs**
miniera
Sep. 4th, 2004 09:26 am (UTC)
You took the words right out of my mouth.
spikes_heart
Sep. 6th, 2004 09:52 am (UTC)
Thanks for your words, pet. Solidarity in being humane.
cordykitten
Sep. 4th, 2004 09:52 am (UTC)
I second that (when my translation is correct, than it means: you're right!)
And soo you are.!
You don't like it - stay put. Nobody forces someone to read something you don't like.
Cordykitten
spikes_heart
Sep. 6th, 2004 09:54 am (UTC)
Thanks, Cordykitten! There really is such a thing as free will. Nobody is holding a gun to your head to make you read anything. Though I've toyed with the idea for my poor, under read fic. **grins**
whenbuffysmiles
Sep. 4th, 2004 10:37 am (UTC)
Thank you.

You are absolutely right and I applaud your standing up!!!
spikes_heart
Sep. 6th, 2004 09:56 am (UTC)
Takes a bow, and appreciates your applause. It felt good.
schehrezade_1
Sep. 4th, 2004 12:16 pm (UTC)
I don't understand flamey reviews - if you don't like the fic don't read it and don't hurt the poor writer's feelings by being cruel - breaks my heart as we put our all into our fics and then to be grrred at it hurts!
All I can say to whoever it was - keep writing and ignore the meany reviewer and prove them wrong by carrying on posting - as all they want is a reaction - does this make sense??
Sorry you are so upset - but remeber for every negative review there are loads of positive ones and alot of happy readers who never review - that is the way to look at this I think cos otherwise we would all stop writing.
There seems to be alot of this going around - wonder if it's the same person?? Or a disgruntled Bangel reader??
Cheer up doll and lots of hugs!!!
spikes_heart
Sep. 6th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC)
Thank you doll, your words are more than kind, and I'm hoping this whole bit of nastiness is over and done with and my friends begin to heal.
schehrezade_1
Sep. 6th, 2004 01:30 pm (UTC)
I hope it's all over too - just not fair or nice to upset people!
Now lets get on with writing and posting hint hint LOL!!
HUGS
xionin
Sep. 4th, 2004 01:25 pm (UTC)
mean people suck.

::hugs::
spikes_heart
Sep. 6th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC)
Yeah, and not in that intense, overly nice way, either. **pouts** Thanks for caring, Xio. **smooches you**
xionin
Sep. 6th, 2004 11:27 am (UTC)
::smooches you right back::
red_sunflower
Sep. 6th, 2004 10:32 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about this. Politeness in the feedback is a must, unfortunately, many people think they make a point when they approach a disagreement with such a negative and rude way.

*hugs*
spikes_heart
Sep. 8th, 2004 01:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your kind words - it was a nasty bit of business.
meli1_77
Sep. 7th, 2004 04:30 am (UTC)
Hear, Hear. I agree with you 100%. Constructive criticism like pointing out a broken link or a grammar error can be welcomed at times if you point it out nicely. I could never understand why someone would flame another.
spikes_heart
Sep. 8th, 2004 01:27 pm (UTC)
Even telling someone their information is incorrect... it happens, for crying out loud. We're freaking human. But you can be kind about it. Thanks for chiming in.
sailorlum
Sep. 7th, 2004 03:32 pm (UTC)
Hear, hear!
spikes_heart
Sep. 8th, 2004 01:27 pm (UTC)
**smooches you** Thanks for caring.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )