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Lawyer - Still Not Ex - BitchFest Post

Please feel free to ignore, but I would rather have your opinions on this freaking, sucky mess:

Mr. Kahn,

I have been out of work for over one year and need to renegotiate our agreement. I'm forced to accept a position this week that pays less than half the income I was making. My rent has increased over 30% and I can't afford $1,000 a month for alimony. Being very realistic, I would agree to $400 per month alimony for the balance of the last agreement. I should also not be held accountable for the last year's alimony. If this is not agreeable with Andrea, then we must have this resolved in front of a judge. Believe me, I want this divorce to be finalized as quickly as possible.

Shit Head

He walked out in 2000 with no warning after 25 years of a disintegrating marriage. He'd been rutting around with a younger bitch for two years before he left and lying about it. He didn't want to pay me a dime - said it's over and that's that when he walked out. He's belittled and negated me in every way possible, especially to our children. He's been completely out of touch for one year after his last payment in August 2003, both with me, and the lawyer. Now it's a basic blackmail plot - wait until I'm homeless and desperate and make me accept less than I could probably get in public assistance and not be held responsible for past debts. Bastard!

So - anyone have any thoughts? Any words of wisdom? Any emotional support cause I feel like I'm about to die and it doesn't look like to bad an idea anymore? Money? Voodoo experience? Hitmen for hire?


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 17th, 2004 11:34 am (UTC)

::massive massive hugs::

Will your lawyer see through it?
(no subject) - karbear57 - Aug. 17th, 2004 11:46 am (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 17th, 2004 12:10 pm (UTC)
Oh my Gawd. What a horse's ass. I don't know any hit men now, but I used to.

Lemme see what I can do.

Jesus, what an ass.

::hugs you:: I'm so sorry about this, hon. It just bites.

Hang in there.
Aug. 17th, 2004 12:12 pm (UTC)
All I can do is offer you my love and support. I wish there was more that I could do. *hugs to you*
Aug. 17th, 2004 12:51 pm (UTC)
You know I thought that the court determines what an X should pay in both alimony and child support. He can make whatever kind of bogus "offer" he wants, but it's not his call. At least that's the way I understand it. But I'm sure you know this already. I'm very sorry that you are having to deal with this kind of asshole. Take deep breaths and get out your frustrations whenever you can. Don't allow this kind of shit to make you feel badly. There's nothing that you've done wrong - but again you know that! Don't know if this note helps, but just know we love you! 'hugs'
Aug. 17th, 2004 01:09 pm (UTC)
My sister-in-law is going/has gone through the same thing. She currently gets no child support because husband one is a junkie and just gone and husband two is in jail. FINALLY.
BUT - if he's working the state should be able to garnish his wages, AND he should also get no tax returns since the govt. takes his debt off the top first.
Husband two worked with someone who paid him cash so he could claim no job and not pay, but if your ex is on a payroll garnishment can happen.

And i know that's pathetically little help, and i'm so very, very sorry and frustrated for you. Freakin' men who just abandon their responsibilities...
No wonder i love a vampire!
*hugs and hugs and hugs you*
Aug. 17th, 2004 03:02 pm (UTC)
He's such a little dingy pooper!

Sleep over it and talk to your lawyer. He anticipates you to give in, so what will he do if you wouldn't? Your chances in court? You really need to talk to your lawyer first. That's all of wisdom I can offer. (But take that for what it's worth, because me? I'm known to drag people like him to court just for the pure principle of not letting them get through with stuff like that.)

Any emotional support That I can do!
((((((((((((((((((((hugs you))))))))))))))))))))

Aug. 17th, 2004 04:10 pm (UTC)
::hugs:: I know how you feel. My son's father left his job over a year ago and still owes me over $6000 in child support. The last year has been really rough.

The only thing I can suggest is what I'm going to do once my raise kicks in and that's go back to court. He might manage to get a reduction, but with his track record, you might still get the judge to tell him "Tough shit." That's basically what my judge did when asshole tried to get out of paying child support on the basis that he'd gone and gotten married (and divorced) while I was pregnant and had to pay her alimony. The judge told him that was his problem that my son came before the marriage and so he came first and he had to pay.

I send you lots of hugs and sympathy. Good luck.
Aug. 17th, 2004 04:38 pm (UTC)
I'm not too sure how it works over there, but in Australia there are certain rules and there are ways to recover.

If I was your lawyer, I would argue on the grounds that first of all, he hasn't been paying up until this point when his salary was fine. Therefore he at least owes you that much, if not more due to the trouble you've been through. This can be court ordered to come directly out of his salary, particularly by giving you his tax return.

I would also argue that half a salary is more than enough to fund your reasonable claims. When he was getting his entire salary he was paying for you and the kids, with half he's only taking care of himself, and meant to be taking care of a fraction of your cost of living. That being said, it is reasonable that he pay you the full sum as his living expenses are lower now than they were before.

I would then argue that he is a scum bag that has tried absolutely everything he could to avoid paying you. I would stress how difficult life has been for you (if you have debt, stress that). If your kids are dependant and have been sick, stress that. Just find everything that you have spent money on for your kids and necessities for yourself, show how little money you make and how difficult it is to get by on it, and compare it to the money he makes and how little he needs to spend. Basically just trash his character.

It's a multi-pronged attack that has a high success rate. You'd be covering all your bases. Here, judges take failure to pay child support seriously, but unfortunately often it's like squeezing blood from a rock. But you just have to try everything, exhaust every option, or he's going to think you're easy and the amount he pays you will keep steadily decreasing.
Aug. 18th, 2004 03:07 am (UTC)
God, what a Shit Head.

Aug. 18th, 2004 04:08 am (UTC)
I can't really add anything in the way of practical advice. It seems like there are plenty of people out there with more experience than I have, but hugs are definitely available.
Aug. 18th, 2004 10:23 am (UTC)
I wish I could make something for you. Hugs and kisses to you. I hope the law acknowledge your rights.
Aug. 22nd, 2004 11:57 pm (UTC)
What a poop-head! *hugs you*
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )