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How Much Is A Mother Worth These Days?

As most of you know, I am a galloping chicken, and a major procrastinator when it comes to taking care of myself. I know I need to see a doctor (many), a dentist, an opthalmologist, etc., etc., etc... but have put it off forever for lots of reasons, not the least of which is money. So, today I swallowed my pride and decided to go to the city hospital's emergency room as a walk in... and I asked my younger to go with me next week as I am too scared to go alone.

He's got a day off of work on Mondays, and the hospital is less than a ten dollar cab ride, which I would pay for with what I've got left. Guess what he told me? Go on... guess.


He can't be my father for me, and can't handle me when I'm 'like this'. Read: overly emotional. Not to mention he can't wait all those hours in a waiting room with me. This is the same kid that when told of his childhood's cat's demise last week, told me while I can be sad, I shouldn't languish in misery over it. Mind you, I was crying some two hours after I found out the news, myself.


I love my child. Really I do. Someone remind me why?

**sighs**

Comments

( 37 comments — Leave a comment )
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zarrah04
Dec. 8th, 2006 05:41 am (UTC)
wow...I'm just...speachless. I'm not sure if you should just bend him over your knee or check his head for '666'. I'm sorry you're treated so unfairly. Every once in a while my kids will say something that just really cuts to the bone, but what can you do? Maybe remind him that one day, he'll be in your place and his own children will repay him with all the love and caring he shows you. [[HUGS]]
spikes_heart
Dec. 14th, 2006 08:02 am (UTC)
Maybe remind him that one day, he'll be in your place and his own children will repay him with all the love and caring he shows you.

He will never, ever have kids. Doesn't even like to be around them. Perhaps it's more than best that way. (And I have looked for that very same 666 on several occasions)

**hugs you tightly**
kaydee23
Dec. 8th, 2006 06:16 am (UTC)
He may be your child, but he's grown up to be a not very nice man.
spikes_heart
Dec. 14th, 2006 08:03 am (UTC)
He may be your child, but he's grown up to be a not very nice man.

I agree. I know I wasn't the perfect mother, but I did raise him better than that.
(no subject) - kaydee23 - Dec. 14th, 2006 12:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
missus_grace
Dec. 8th, 2006 06:25 am (UTC)
Have you ever told him about what it was like to carry him in your womb for 9 months and what your labor was like? Told him stories of his childhood when you cared for him and went the extra mile to make sure he was comforted and loved?

Well, it's his turn now. It couldn't have been easy for you to admit you needed him; it sounds like it was hard enough making the decision to go see a dr.!

I hope he changes his mind.
spikes_heart
Dec. 14th, 2006 08:06 am (UTC)
It couldn't have been easy for you to admit you needed him; it sounds like it was hard enough making the decision to go see a dr.!

I hope he changes his mind.


It was damned hard asking him for anything, much less this, and no, he'll never change his mind. With any luck, a friend of mine might be coming from upstate to go with me this Friday. I won't hold my breath, but the chance is better than waiting for the youngun.
shapinglight
Dec. 8th, 2006 10:12 am (UTC)
I'm trying to be kind and saying that's just blokes for you. They aren't good at the waiting around thing.

However, he didn't have to be so brutal about it. I'm sorry. Any chance a female friend could go with you instead?
spikes_heart
Dec. 14th, 2006 08:08 am (UTC)
However, he didn't have to be so brutal about it. I'm sorry. Any chance a female friend could go with you instead?

Thanks, Deb. I agree with you - it is partially the male thing, and partially the asshole son thing. Wish me luck... might have someone here from upstate this Friday.
(no subject) - shapinglight - Dec. 14th, 2006 10:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
petzipellepingo
Dec. 8th, 2006 11:26 am (UTC)
Hmmm... he may be your baby but he needs lessons in being a man. I hope you can find someone to go with you and sending good vibes along.
spikes_heart
Dec. 14th, 2006 08:10 am (UTC)
Hmmm... he may be your baby but he needs lessons in being a man.

Thanks, love. It certainly won't be his cretin of a father giving out those lessons.

With any luck, this Friday will find me with a close friend.
curiouswombat
Dec. 8th, 2006 01:12 pm (UTC)
Well, apart from hitting him over the head with a stinking cod-fish, I think I would point out that you don't want him to be a father - a caring adult who behaves like a friend would be quite adequate.

And we love them because we are programmed to do so - but it doesn't mean that we actualy have to like the little buggers all the time!!
spikes_heart
Dec. 14th, 2006 08:11 am (UTC)
And we love them because we are programmed to do so - but it doesn't mean that we actualy have to like the little buggers all the time!!

The cod-fish thing sounds like a plan, cause the words are lost on him. **huggles you**
spikedluv
Dec. 8th, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
O.o Wow, that's... I just don't have the words! I offer to sit with my mother and sister when they have doctor's appointments, so I can't imagine someone saying 'no' when asked, especially when you're freaked out about it already. And he can't handle you? All you needed was company, maybe someone to hold your hand... I agree with the others, he's being a real shithead.
spikes_heart
Dec. 14th, 2006 09:29 am (UTC)
All you needed was company, maybe someone to hold your hand... I agree with the others, he's being a real shithead.

Do you know how hard it is when friends ask why one of the boys won't go with me? Words fail me. And they wonder why I don't accomplish anything. Why bother if I'm not worth their time? It just hurts that when I need help, they don't come through (mostly).
willa_writes
Dec. 8th, 2006 01:40 pm (UTC)
*kicks the younger in the ass as hard as possible* That little shit!

*huggles you*
spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:02 am (UTC)
*kicks the younger in the ass as hard as possible* That little shit!


Oddly enough, I feel better. Jeanne is supposed to be coming down tomorrow sometime before 1... can give me about 4 hours before she has to fly to her eldest daughter's for dinner. Please don't let it take that long. **crosses fingers and legs**
megan_peta
Dec. 8th, 2006 02:39 pm (UTC)
So is he saying you shouldn't be emotional about your health? That you shouldn't have emotional attachments to things or animals? Hmmm, wonder what he would say that your ability to care for an animal that has shown you love and affection for years means that you might have a modicum of caring for him if ever he should need it? Boys are so terribly short-sighted and selfish. There's no point doing the "But I did this for you," argument because they just don't see it. They don't care what hardships you went through to bring them into the world or how you've managed to keep them in it. Society is becoming very aggressive and unfeeling and I think sometimes parents fight a losing battle trying to instill a workable set of morals into their kids. What he said to you, though, no matter how emotional he thinks you are, was just callous. If you can't have support from your family, where can you get it?

If I lived over there I'd go with you and be damned if we had to wait all day! I hope you still find the courage to go and that whatever needs doing happens without too much fuss or distraction. Your health is worth it and you shouldn't be too blase with dealing with it. (And I do know what you mean about the procrastination. I've just had a rotten wisdom tooth pulled that has been crumbling for two years!)
spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:07 am (UTC)
There's no point doing the "But I did this for you," argument because they just don't see it. They don't care what hardships you went through to bring them into the world or how you've managed to keep them in it.

No, they really don't seem to care, no matter how well they were raised. I just wish... ah, what the hell... there's never a vengeance demon around when you want her.

Anyway, should be going mid-Friday afternoon... a friend is coming down from upstate to be with me for as long as she can. Now to pray it doesn't take 6 hours since I'm not bleeding or turning blue or anything technicolor like that.
dragonflymuse
Dec. 8th, 2006 02:53 pm (UTC)
I am very sorry he's acting like that. That is beyond unfair to you and is downright rude and callous on his part.

I would go with you if I was there; I hope you either find the courage to go on your own, or that you can find someone with more heart to go with you.

::will be holding your hand in any case::
spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:08 am (UTC)
I am very sorry he's acting like that. That is beyond unfair to you and is downright rude and callous on his part.


Thanks, Deana... sometimes I wonder if I'm overreacting, and it helps to see I'm not.

If you feel your fingers start to tingle later, it's me... gripping 'em back.
seductivembrace
Dec. 8th, 2006 03:13 pm (UTC)
I don't know what to say... actually, I'm pretty darn speechless. Can't be a father to you? Did you ask him to? One would think that he'd be concerned about his mother's health, maybe want to be there to offer a bit of moral support. *sigh*

Well, you do have your friends here on LJ to give you that boost that appears to be lacking. *hugs you*
spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:11 am (UTC)
I don't know what to say... actually, I'm pretty darn speechless. Can't be a father to you? Did you ask him to? One would think that he'd be concerned about his mother's health, maybe want to be there to offer a bit of moral support.

I just asked him to sit there with me - to make sure I actually went and didn't bolt in hysterical fear. It's too easy to stay home when you're by yourself (and agoraphobic amongst other things). and all of this is said with a straight face whilst he tells me he cares about me and my health. Just one little request for help, and he vanishes like mist. **rolls eyes**
lizerrrbeathans
Dec. 8th, 2006 03:15 pm (UTC)
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Beloved child or no and I know he is...

WHOA!

You guys just tapped into one major trouble communication issue between male and female reguardless of relationship. Just because he is not feeling something does not mean it doesn't exist for you. Because of a complicated fear structure, men have a tendency to put distance between mind and heart, if they remain in control and in the center of their lives, then they can remain the godhead. I mean that literally and not unlovingly--I mean, we all have issues. But as godhead the world does not exist beyond what they can feel or what they think.

Women have been supressing valuable feelings since the dawn of whenever and this has resulted in compressed denial that can sit hard inside a heart, resulting in depression.

Feelings are messy for a reason...it means there is pain here, it is red flag for attention. Just as if you had broken a foot, emotional pain is a flag for attention. I don't know what you can do to facilitate his help...but please don't negate your feelings; that's what I say.

Oh boy, you can tell that one hit a button with me...

good luck
spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:14 am (UTC)
Feelings are messy for a reason...it means there is pain here, it is red flag for attention. Just as if you had broken a foot, emotional pain is a flag for attention. I don't know what you can do to facilitate his help...but please don't negate your feelings; that's what I say.

Oh boy, you can tell that one hit a button with me...


A button with me, too. I was born on emotional overload... I cry at the drop of a hat, a pretty picture, a beautiful piece of artwork, or just the right musical note. Don't it fig that I get sons who can turn it all off? **sighs and hugs you**
fishsanwitt
Dec. 8th, 2006 04:46 pm (UTC)
I'm sending ::hugs:: and virtual hand-holding.

spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:18 am (UTC)
I'm sending ::hugs:: and virtual hand-holding.

**hugs you back very tightly and latches onto your virtual hand**
sammywol
Dec. 8th, 2006 04:51 pm (UTC)
Shit! I know they say that you never truly repay the love your parents give you but does he have to be so damn literal about it? *hugs!*
spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:19 am (UTC)
Shit! I know they say that you never truly repay the love your parents give you but does he have to be so damn literal about it?

**rolls eyes heavenward and hugs you back** Males... sheesh.
whenbuffysmiles
Dec. 8th, 2006 08:25 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

I know you love him because he is your child, but I'd be putting some distance between you and him. That's a really thoughtless attitude to have toward his mother. Someone needs to give him a really hard reminder of all you've done for him.

spikes_heart
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:21 am (UTC)
*hugs*

I know you love him because he is your child, but I'd be putting some distance between you and him.


I wish I could, but I'm living in the livingroom here, like a freshman college student. No door, no privacy... but also, no rent. It's hard to complain, and even harder to have distance.

**hugs you back**
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